Fiddler On the Roof Sing a long

A couple of weeks ago I went to see Fiddler On the Roof at a theater in Tucson, with a great friend. It was a sing-a-long. They had the words on the bottom of the screen. When the theme song started and you could hear everyone singing and knew you wouldn't get kicked out for singing at the top of your lungs it was amusing to say the least. I wanted to laugh, but I admit I loved it too. My dad would have loved it and so would Carrie. It is one of my favorite movies of all time. I have also seen it live twice. My Dad loved singing If I were a Rich Man and dance up and down the hall just like Tevia. The movie has a great story even though it is sad. It makes me realize that my life isn't so hard. .I loved the way Tevia always talked to God. He would have great conversatoins with Him. His love for God and his family was amazing.I am not being forced from my home just because I am Jewish I pray this never happens. I feel sorry also for the commander that has to carry out the orders. He truly likes the Jewish people but is afraid not to do what he has been told to do.At the very least he would have been imprisioned and maybe even killed if he had refused to obey. The Jews are looking for the Messiah to come and rescue them...this was the saddest part to me. They love God and know the Old Testament so well. I wanted to stand up in the movie and say " He has come!!! Can't you tell?" It truly broke my heart. Their love for God was great and yet they are lost without Christ. Their homes were taken and their strength was amazing. Woudl I be that strong if I was told to get out with only what I could carry? Where would I go? It might come to this one day. Will I have the the faith to still trust my Lord? What kind of example will I be to others?
Do I look down on those who believe differently than I do? Would I be williing to stand and say "this isn't right? " Fear is a great motivator. I pray my God is a better one. No matter what happens may I stand for Him!!
It was a great night and I had a wonderful time. My friend and I had dinner before and went to Starbucks after. They even had to kick us out we talked so long. I haven't done that in a very long time. What a great way to end. If I were a rich man?

It's that time of year

I love the Fall, even though we don't get much in the way of a real season here in Arizona. This is the time of year when I get to spend time with family and reflect on this past year and all that has happened, good and bad. I try and keep Thanksgiving separate from Christmas, something that I am afraid is a loosing battle in this family. The weather is finally cool enough for even me to enjoy. I try and get our children to be thankful and remember what Christmas is all about. I need this reminder as much as they do...maybe even more. I love all the lights, songs, decorations, baking, parties, etc. It is easy to get lost in all the activity that goes on here. I wonder if I would love it as much if I didn't have a tree, stockings, sugar cookies, and Bing Crosby? I would like to say YES! I am not sure though. I do know that I would love to spend as much time with my family as a possibly can. I still miss Callahan, and my sister so much it is a physical ache, especially this time of year. We went to Levi's school Christmas show last night. It was just what you would expect from school children, with all the songs and dancing around. I loved every minute of it. I remember being in them when I was in school. I am so blessed to have a family of my own now that I can do the same things that my parents did. I never thought it would really happen for me. I consider my family my Christmas miracle. Carrie would have sat right there with me and cried the whole time. I wonder what Mary and Joseph felt when Jesus and His siblings sang and danced together. I guess I can be thankful for Christmas even before Thanksgiving and hopefully all year long. Without my Savior I would have no reason to be thankful for all those I miss and I know I will see again. It is that time of year but I pray that we teach our children and others what really matters. When you take away all the lights, and cookies, God came to Earth for me and that should make me sing all year long.

Living the life?

Went to Mom and Bobbie's for the weekend. Had a good visit with several cousins, my Aunt and a couple of friends. It had been a while since we had been down and it was great to get away. One of Carrie's closest friends came down Saturday and brought Folio. For those of you who don't know, he was Carrie's guide dog for around 10 years. He was the one with her until the end. He is now almost 14 and would have been retired from guide work. He is deaf, going blind, has arthritis, and fat, fat, fat. He loves it. As soon as he pulled up to Mom's he knew where he was and got very excited. It was great to see him but also sad. I have never seen him without my sister. He is happy , very happy. Kellie and her husband have other dogs and cats and they all go for walks every evening around the park. He is loved on and cared for. I think he is good for Kellie too. She and Carrie were very close and caring for Folio helps. We stay in touch and that is great for all of us. I was worried about Folio when Carrie died. He went to another friends for a long time but wasn't happy there at all. I don't think Kellie was happy either. Now both are together and living a life they both love. We all need someone to love us unconditionally, take care of our needs and know we are special. Folio found that and he is thriving ( as much as a 14 year old dog can). I have found it in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, but I tend to forget. Maybe I am deaf and blind all too often to my blessing He pours out for me. I need to only focus on Him. Folio knows he is safe with Kellie around, if he can't see it or hear it she can, she will even carry him when he needs it, like up the stairs at my mom's house. I need to do that. Trust my Savior to hear and see what I can't and just stay close to Him, then I too will be living the life. Even if I am deaf and blind, my Jesus isn't. My life isn't perfect but I can be content, Folio is and his life hasn't been perfect either. I know he is a dog, but it was a great reminder for me.

Forgiven much or little?

I have been doing a Beth Moore study Jesus the One and Only. I have done this study 2 other times and wasn't going to do it this time. I knew the workbook answers, and even if I did it again I wasn't getting a new book. My thought was just use the old one. Well A wise leader gave me a new book anyway. She knew I would get lazy and not really participate. I know God's Word is alive and always speaking to me but I continue to be amazed at the things I am learning that I know I must have heard before.
Last week week we were in Luke 7:36-50. I have read this "story" many times, I have heard sermons and songs about it. A wonderful story but I wasn't expecting to get a big aha moment out of it. I was wrong.
First, I need to remember this wasn't just a story. We tend to forget that when we read the Bible. This woman was real and so was Simon, they lived and are related to someone today, maybe even me. Second, this woman was a "sinner". That is what Simon thought to himself. Aren't we all sinners? Simon was horrified that she was there weeping and kissing Jesus' feet. Why were her sins so much more terrible than Simon's? Simon was a Pharisee, he was religious, so much better than most, according to him anyway.
Christ told Simon something that clicked in a new and real way to me. Jesus said " her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much, but he who is forgiven little, loves little" (vs. 47) Our churches are full of people who love little. We may not mean to be that way or even realize that is what we are. We grow up in church, accept Christ at age 8 or 9 and go on with life. We don't know how to love much. We were never a "sinner" like some of the people out there and if we were we don't tell anyone at church because we will be condemned. We say we love but it is hard for us. We want our churches to look nice. Christ's followers were not church going Bible thumping choir singing followers. Our churches are failing at loving. We tell ourselves that we are no better and sin is sin but our attitude screams differently. We need to learn to love much. Thank God if you don't have a horrible sin secret or not so secret but don't become a Pharisee and memorize a bunch of rules, and wait for someone to break them so you can point fingers and gossip(which is a huge sin) I would take an adulterer over a gossip in church. Gossip doesn't have to be a lie to be gossip and Satan uses it in our churches like wildfire( sorry that should be another blog). Our churches are hurting because we have forgotten how to love like Christ. We are all sinners and if your sins are not as dirty as someone else's get on your knees and weep gratitude before a Holy God that He protected you! Anyone can be like "that" woman at Jesus' feet. I am, and can't wait to weep and kiss His feet. Lord help me to love much!

Tripped in the Mud

Last week Jennifer's school called. I wasn't home so we all played telephone tag. Paul finally called me (Nathaniel and I were at a friends house for a play date) and informed me that Jennifer needed a change of clothes because she had fallen in the mud. I was not happy because I was inconvenienced by all of this. She had done this before, she has terrible balance. My friend actually had some clothes she was getting rid of ( one of the reasons for my visit) and they would fit Jennifer, even shoes. I left Nathaniel to play and I quickly drove to the school, to rescue my princess. Jennifer was waiting in the Nurses office, her shoes were outside the door covered in mud. Her pants were bad but her shirt was only a little splattered. She changed clothes, seemed very happy and went to computer lab where the rest of her class was. I took her muddy stuff with me.
When Paul brought Jennifer home from school for the day, he asks me if I know that Jennifer was pushed into the mud? Well this was definitely news to me. Jennifer didn't mention it, the nurse didn't mention it, no one told me anything. I assumed she had fallen. What had happened, and why were we not told? We sat Jennifer down and asked for her to tell us all about what had happened during recess. She said she was not pushed but she was tripped, "by who," we asked. She had no idea who it was. She did tell both of her teachers. She said whoever did it got a pink slip. This is a bad thing that most kids try and avoid all year long. When you get a pink slip you get a visit with the guidance counselor, the principle or both.
Even though I was furious for not being properly informed, I was amazed and impressed with the way Jennifer handled it. She was not in tears when I got to her, even though she was covered in mud. She had let the proper authorities know what had happened. She told us what had happened as best as she could with what she saw and knew. She didn't blame anyone, if she wasn't sure who it was. She was OK with the whole thing.
Oh to be more like my precious daughter. When life knocks me down why don't I take it to my Savior? Why don't I tell Him what happened and let Him take care of it? Why do I want to get even and mean, complain and scream "it isn't fair"? I don't see the whole picture either and yet I am so sure that it is terribly unfair how I am treated. Satan is going to try and trip me, sometimes he will succeed. I need to take it to Jesus and let Him handle it. Get cleaned up and go on with what God has for me to do.
By the way she got a written apology the next day from the boy. God took care of her better than I could have. I would have hurt the kid, but that is another story.