hard day

Today Nathaniel and I are cleaning. He loves to help. He is also the reason for a lot of the cleaning. When he takes a bath it is like a tidal wave in the bathroom. Paul said we may even have to pull up the tile because water is getting under them. Nathaniel is now wearing underwear ( Diego to be exact) if I tell him to go he is fine but it I don't tell him about every 30 minutes then we have wet clothes. He still doesn't care and just says he needs clean ones. Sometimes he doesn't even care they are wet and I have to make him change. He loves dancing around the room naked and singing. He also loves to tell me stories.
Today is hard for me. I got Jennifer and Levi ready for school. Jennifer has crazy hair day so she has 5 ponytails all over her head. As soon as they were gone I wanted to call Carrie and tell her about Jennifer's hair. It seems to be getting harder not having her here. Everything I always share with her is just building up. Nathaniel told me not to cry Aunt Carrie is just moving to her new house and we can see her soon. Such wisdom from him. Levi still has here phone number memorized, that is how often we called her. He has known it since he was 4. I didn't expect today to be hard. It took me by surprise. I have others I talk to but it doesn't replace Carrie.
Now that Nathaniel isn't wearing diapers I miss having a baby. I know it sounds crazy, it just makes it real that my kids are growing up. I love that Nathaniel is growing up ( I don't want to change diapers on a 4 year old) but I also miss a lot of the baby stuff. Isn't that typical, never happy with what we have. It just goes back to being content in all circumstances. I am still learning.