The Necessary Evil

I have been struggling a lot lately with church. Now listen carefully to me before you freak out or turn me off. I love church. I have gone all my life with very few exceptions. I have been loved on, lifted up, refreshed, blessed, and felt the presence of my Lord and Savior. With all that said...I don't find it to be enjoyable any more. It must be me. The bible tells me I am to worship and it isn't about me being entertained or feeling all spiritual and weepy after a service. I try going in with giving to God and not "what's in it for me" I think what is bothering me the most is the politics of church. I have been a member of several churches in several states and even a few different denominations. It is all the same. The theology may be different but the politics are all the same.We say love each other, we say forgive one another, we even say that we do love "so in so" but let me tell you, actions speak louder than words, and our actions are anything but loving! We are ugly, mean, holier than thou, proud, etc. I think church is a place where we judge each other, gossip instead of pray and have huge power struggles over who is in charge. We must break God's heart and Satan must love it. I believe the reason churches struggle so much is because we let Satan. He doesn't want churches to even survive little alone thrive. I am tired of mediocrity and settling. It isn't enough and God doesn't want it. I keep thinking maybe the next church will be different. I will not stop going to church. I know the benefits and the command to go. I know it is a great foundation for my kids. If nothing else they learn that Christians are flawed and very imperfect and need a Savior. I just wish we would stop playing church and wounding each other, and acting like the pharisees who are so much better than everyone else. Stop playing church and really pray and let God work, I think we would see miracles happen if we did.