Friday, September 25, 2009

Jelousy and envy

I woke up this morning in a really good mood. I have been doing an in depth Bible study and have really been praying and seeking after God. Life is on track and I am excited about what God is going to do in my life and in Paul's.
Then I checked e-mail. I received 2 different updates from friends who are as opposite as possible. One is in California and is a working professional and the other is in Florida family who literally live by faith in all they do. They both sent updates on what all is happening in their lives. This doesn't happen often either, my friend in Ca. does it maybe once a year at best. Both updates were exciting and full of the things God is doing. He is moving in mighty ways on both coasts and it is wonderful to see my friends being a part of all He is doing.
Satan is alive and well. When I read both updates, I immediately got upset. My good mood vanished and I pouted. Why are they all being used and not me? I am ready, I have been waiting for a very long time. I am seeking. It isn't fair that amazing things are going on with them and I sit in a basement in Safford Arizona checking off the days. I love these friends and yet I find myself asking "why them and not me, are they so much better than I am?" I shouldn't be surprised at these feelings. Satan doesn't like it when we are praising God and in His Will. I know I am getting there. I stopped and started praying Scripture. I know God has plans for Goldie O'Dell and they are wonderful. I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I know He loves me beyond anything I can comprehend. I was letting Satan bring me down. My friends are hearing from God and doing what He has called them to do. I can not do what they are doing ( one signs at worship conferences). I almost let my day be ruined be my focus slipping down and not staying up. I will be honest, it still hurts a little and I am frustrated to sit and wait. I feel I have waited a long time and learned a lot, but apparently I am not ready to move on. So I wait and praise, and wait and praise. God owes me nothing and only He knows what and when He wants me to be used by Him.


London said...

Beautifully spoken.

Deborah said...

Goldie, It's been my golly ages since I've been on this and you still inspire me..xoxoxoo

Roxanne said...

Goldie you are being used by God. I learn from you almost every time I'm with you.

I love the relationship you have with God and the deep understanding you have with His word.

Love you girl!!