Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Christmas pics

2008 the end is in sight

Today is the last day of 2008. I don't want to be depressing but I for one am glad it is over. I thought that 2007 was hard (and it was VERY) but 2008 was also painful. Maybe I just need to focus on God more. I do know that 2008 was a year of changes and a lot of healing. This is something that Carrie and I talked about a lot. I just didn't realize that I was going to have so much more to heal from. Every year shows me new things. I pray that I am learning from them. Carrie had shared with me that she was learning "not to waste the pain" I think this is good advice. Everything that I have gone through has taught me something, even when most of it was difficult. If I don't learn from it I may just have to go through something like it again. NO THANKS! I pray that I have learned and 2009 will be full of new growth but maybe less pain. This world will never be prefect (not even close) so I shouldn't be surprised by the pain it causes. God is merciful and graceous and I need to be very thankful. My family was sooo blessed for Christmas. We did nothing to deseve all that God provided and yet we had an abundance and was even able to let God use us to bless others as well. I pray that instead of "resolutions" I will try to be even more Christ like in 2009 and He would be able to use me for His glory what ever He sees fit for me to do. I pray that everyone has been blessed and that you will continue to seek God, He is the only source of true blessing. See you all in 2009, at least in my heart! Thanks for hanging in there with me. I thank God for all of you.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Kids are home for 16 days....but who's counting

Well Christmas break started Friday at 12:30 p.m. to be exact. By 5:00 p.m. Levi was officially "BORED". Arguing abounds as well as "stop touching me", "it's not my fault", "he did it not me", "when are we going to..... (fill in the rest) and my very favorite "MOMMMY!!!!!!!"

Oh what a wonderful time of year!!! I look forward to Christmas every year and as Carrie would say "this is what I always wanted, what I live for and what she would have given anything to have"
I know that teachers love Christmas break and so do I, I truly do. I also remember being "bored" a lot and whining ( a Borden trait that runs deep in our DNA) to my mom. I am sure she thinks this is funny and sweet justice. I do have some fun things planned for our days, unfortunatly today was a bust because my keys are locked in my van and Paul is at work with the only other set, maybe I should ask for another set for Christmas just in case I do this again. We were going to a free showing of The Bee Movie now I have to rethink things. Today is now a spring cleaning day ( I am sure my kids will love it :D We will make candy cane cookies and listen to Christmas music. If all goes well we might even get to a game.

I really am glad to have some time with my kids, they are already growing up too fast. I must say there is also something to the song "It's Begining to Look a Lot Like Christmas" where the lyrics say " and mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again" Only 14 days to go but who's counting?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My helper

Nathaniel is very good about letting me know just what a good helper he is. If I give him a compliment or encourage him, he isn't surprised, as a matter of fact he expects it.

Example is

"Nathaniel thank you for helping me with the laundry, you are a good helper" me
"I know I am a good helper" Nathaniel
"I don't know what I would do without your help" me
"You probably couldn't do it without me" Nathaniel

I guess I didn't do any laundry, dishes, etc. before he started helping, or I am just getting too old to do it alone.
He is confident, and sure of himself. I love this and hope it lasts. He is also looking forward to Christmas. This is the first time he is understanding anything. Unfortunatly he understands the gifts the most. He does love doing the Nativity Advent Calander also. I am praying that we all get what it is all about, not just the gifts. He is excited about giving the presents he picked out though, it is a start and I will take it. He really is a great helper and so are Jennifer and Levi. I am blessed to have all three of my kids!!!!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Christmas...what happend to the miracle

I just saw an ad for rollover minutes and they called it a "Christmas miracle". I have a real problem with this. We live in a society that thinks it is ok to murder an unborn child and yet rollover minutes are a "miracle" I have a hard time even asking God to forgive us for such things. I sometimes think "just give us what we really deserve" I am more than grateful that I serve a merciful and gracious Lord, I certainly don't deserve anything good that I get. I don't think we spend enough time trying to grasp what God has done and what Christmas is really about. I can ask my kids why we celebrate and Levi will quickly answer "it is Jesus' Birthday" but he says it like he is bored and doesn't really care. I know that I must change so my family and friends can see why I celebrate. We have several ornaments that have Christ as the theme, a children's nativity set, a advent calander that tell's Christs birth, we put money in the bell ringer red kettles, and we attend Christmas Eve services, but I still feel it is only a passing nod that we do so we can have fun with the cookies and gifts. I am praying that God would change me and help me to really celebrate the true miracle of this Christmas. I honestly think of the cartoon version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas and wonder if I could have everything taken away, would I still wake up and sing because I am celebrating Christ's Birth. Try watching the movie from a new perspective and praise God for sending Christ to us...we certainly do not deserve such a miracle, thank God He sent Him anyway!!!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Thanksgiving is getting ripped off

Well it is definatly December and Christmas. Paul and I go round and round every year about when to start decorating. He loves to do it Thanksgiving weekend, and jokes about startingeven sooner, he tried to put up a wreath in October. I like to wait until at least Monday after. I like to enjoy my Thanksgiving as just that and not rush Christmas. It seems to me that Thanksgiving is lucky to get a passing nod on the way to the chaos of the Christmas madhouse. We complain that Christmas is too commercial and exhausting but we run willingly to get there just as fast as we can. Our kids are too greedy but we don't stop and explain Thanksgiving or even enjoy it ourselves. Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday growing up ( that and the 4th of July) neither is full of "stuff" but they are the 2 times I remember spending time with all my family. I am very social and I thrived on these times. I also wonder even though Christmas is suppose to be about Christs birth if God is pleased with how most of us celebrate it. I know God wants us to be thankful and I think He may be saddened by our rush to just get through Thanksgiving so we can start shopping and singing Frosty the Snowman. Honestly we should be thankful all year round and sometimes we are the least thankful this time of year with all the stress, and busyness of the season. Remember even though Thanksgiving is over to thank God and try to enjoy all those parties ( it means you have friends). Just for the record we didn't start decorating until Dec. 3. We did listen to Christmas music on our trip to California for Thanksgiving. I call that compromise, Paul may disagree.

Monday, December 8, 2008

the 2 day stress test

Last week ( on Mon and Tues to be exact) I had to go the the hospital here in town for a two day dye stress test. I thought I knew what to expect, but life is rarely like I expect it to be. I had no one to watch Nathaniel like I thought that I would ( oh to be in Callahan with all my friends who could help out) Almost everyone here works and isn't home to help out, at least not that I am aware of. So off I go with Nathaniel strapped into his stroller that he is way too big for, but it keeps him contained, which is exactly what I needed. I get an IV and then they strap me up with every wire imaginable. I start to feel terrible and am then told "oh, by the way we have given you a chemical to basically force you to have a heart attack" yeah me! I was so dizzy, my legs hurt, my head hurt, I felt like I was going to throw up, and then they tell me my face in very red. Thank God no pictures. I took the maximum time to "return to normal". I still felt terrible. They told me I had to go eat a "fatty" meal and suggested buger, fries, and a shake. Now normaly this would thrill me, not today. I didn't even think I should be driving. I went with Paul and Nathaniel and had lunch. Thank God Paul took Nathaniel for the next part. I had to go to radiation and get scaned with all the wires again. My arms above my head at an uncomfortable position. No talking ( for me this was hard ), moving, sleeping for 20 minutes. On Tuesday I got to repeat most of this but without Nathaniel (found someone) and they didn't force the heart attack this time, still had the needle with dye, fatty meal, and the scan. I am so glad that it is over!! At least I am aware of the symptoms if I have a "real" heart attack.
Today I got the results... and praise God I have no major blockage right now. I am at a low risk, but they will reevalute me every 6 months because of my family history. I can at least enjoy my cookies and fudge this Christmas! Thanks for the prayers, they helped!!!!

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Well I am fianlly back. We went to California for 4 days. My mom and sister went with us. Our minivan was full, trafic was packed, and the drive was LONG!! Would I trade it for anything...NO!! I had a great time and loved every minute. My family is large, loud, and very affectionate. My poor honey was lucky to survive. I know he had a good time but not as good as I did, and he is probably happier to be home than I am. I am glad we went. It made Thanksgiving easier for all of us. The hardest part was the tea party my aunt gave for all girls and women. Carrie would have loved it. The kids did great, although they had a hard time keeping up with who was who. Nathaniel kept asking who we were related to and I said everyone. He just sighed and gave up knowing names. My cousin-in-law (is that a real word?) Jen Borden was great with the kids ( she probably felt overwhelmed at times too) Nathaniel LOVED her...thanks Jen! I can count 37 that we saw and that isn't all of them ( all from my mom's side). I will say now that I am not a kid I see more of the imperfections. When I was a kid I thought my family was perfect. They aren't but they are still better than anyone's I have met. They love God, they are loud, they would do anything for me and I am truly blessed to be a part of them. I think Paul just tries to live through it. I know he loves us but the noise is hard to take and all the hugging if you are not use to it. I know I have much to be thankful for and my family is right at the top! I also learned a new card game that I would love to play. I need to live closer to Rocky and Marcy. Paul even stayed up late to play ( of course he won and he never played before either) I am not good at most games but I love to play. I just enjoy being with people. I really had a great time and would go back next week if I could, I can hear Paul saying absolutly not!! He needs to recover first, maybe for the summer.