computers and me

I know the research and sayings about couch potatoes and television but what about computers? I am not that computer savy, even though I have a blog, check e-mail and live on facebook, but I know I spend too much time on it. Lately my passion for God has been fading, and I couldn't figure out why. I know we all go through times like this, but I wanted to know what might have triggered it for me.... I believe now some of the problem is my computer (facebook in particular).Now don't get me wrong, I love facebook, that is the problem. I love staying connected to everyone I love and miss, and there are a lot. I can spend lots of time wading through all the comments, pictures and updates, and next thing you know I have been sitting at my computer for a couple of hours, especially if I blog. I can also find it depressing when I miss everyone so much. I am not spending time in God's Word enough (I rarely spend "enough" time) I am not praying as much. I am whining about everything and everyone I am missing. I am sure God loves my whining. I need to get more disciplined and put God first not facebook. Sometimes I think all this technology isn't a great thing, at least not for me. It is like all the prepackaged junk food...not good for me either. Way to easy to eat unhealthy and get fatter, which I am doing also, but that is another blog. Do me a favor, first please pray for me that I will return to my first love...Jesus, and second if you see me on facebook ask me if I have spent time with God first. I need the accountability! Thanks

birthday boy

Levi is 8. It is hard to believe. He is tall skinny and brilliant! He loves science and solving things. His party is at the end of the week. We are going to be doing experiments, and investigating things. Paul is in charge of that part. Levi is shy and loves his family. He takes good care of his brother and sister. He asks questions that I can't begin to answer and has a faith in God that amazes me. He does complain about school being boring and life not being fair. He always wants whatever toy is being advertised. He is an advertiser's dream. But he quickly moves on to the next new things. He is a lot like Paul but there is also a lot of me and my sisters in him. He is very creative and I don't doubt that what ever he decides to do with his life he will be able to accomplish. He is always coming home with girls phone numbers. I don't let him call them, he is still way too young. I am proud of him and I thank God for such a wonderful son!!

Jennifer's IEP ...So proud!!!

Yesterday we had Jennifer's IEP (individualized educational plan). We have one of these at least once a year and sometimes more. All of her teachers, therapests, Special Ed. director and Paul and I were there. It was long and there was a lot to go over. Reading and understanding some of those reports are really fun. She was tested, observed, talked to and every thing else you can think of. To try and put it in words that make sense isn't easy so bare with me...she is doing great!!!! They are very impressed with her abilities, and wanting to succeed. She is spelling on grade level! Her reading is her strong suit. She is averaging at a 7 yr. old but compared to her testing and others she is over achieving! A lot of children platue at this age and parents do not push to succeed. We try and expect more from Jennifer ( the teachers said) than most parents. She can tell time and her math and writing skills continue to improve. She is very social and the other children are starting to include her (playing tag etc.) . When we go to the store it seems everone knows her and says hi.
We know that God is the reason for all of this and we give Him all the praise. We know that it is a hard road we are on with her but we are sooo blessed. She had great teachers in Florida, both in school and church (THANKS VICKI!!! ) Holly was also alway encouraging. We have been very fortunate and are grateful. Eating is still a concern and she seems to be getting bigger. Her teachers did say that she seems more active and is running more. I am trying to keep her and I motivated (pray for us both). She is at the very highest end of mild retartation. I know God gave her the teachers she needed everywhere she has been and again I want to say thank you. She really is my "sweet cheeks" and a precious princess. I am soooo proud of her!!!!!

by the way as a side note she is very "normal". When asked to draw and talk about her home life, she drew a girl that was usually happy but complained about having to clean her room and too many chores :D
Paul and I just laughed about that.

Christmas pics

Kids are home for 16 days....but who's counting

Well Christmas break started Friday at 12:30 p.m. to be exact. By 5:00 p.m. Levi was officially "BORED". Arguing abounds as well as "stop touching me", "it's not my fault", "he did it not me", "when are we going to..... (fill in the rest) and my very favorite "MOMMMY!!!!!!!"

Oh what a wonderful time of year!!! I look forward to Christmas every year and as Carrie would say "this is what I always wanted, what I live for and what she would have given anything to have"
I know that teachers love Christmas break and so do I, I truly do. I also remember being "bored" a lot and whining ( a Borden trait that runs deep in our DNA) to my mom. I am sure she thinks this is funny and sweet justice. I do have some fun things planned for our days, unfortunatly today was a bust because my keys are locked in my van and Paul is at work with the only other set, maybe I should ask for another set for Christmas just in case I do this again. We were going to a free showing of The Bee Movie now I have to rethink things. Today is now a spring cleaning day ( I am sure my kids will love it :D We will make candy cane cookies and listen to Christmas music. If all goes well we might even get to a game.

I really am glad to have some time with my kids, they are already growing up too fast. I must say there is also something to the song "It's Begining to Look a Lot Like Christmas" where the lyrics say " and mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again" Only 14 days to go but who's counting?

My helper

Nathaniel is very good about letting me know just what a good helper he is. If I give him a compliment or encourage him, he isn't surprised, as a matter of fact he expects it.

Example is

"Nathaniel thank you for helping me with the laundry, you are a good helper" me
"I know I am a good helper" Nathaniel
"I don't know what I would do without your help" me
"You probably couldn't do it without me" Nathaniel

I guess I didn't do any laundry, dishes, etc. before he started helping, or I am just getting too old to do it alone.
He is confident, and sure of himself. I love this and hope it lasts. He is also looking forward to Christmas. This is the first time he is understanding anything. Unfortunatly he understands the gifts the most. He does love doing the Nativity Advent Calander also. I am praying that we all get what it is all about, not just the gifts. He is excited about giving the presents he picked out though, it is a start and I will take it. He really is a great helper and so are Jennifer and Levi. I am blessed to have all three of my kids!!!!!

Thanksgiving

Well I am fianlly back. We went to California for 4 days. My mom and sister went with us. Our minivan was full, trafic was packed, and the drive was LONG!! Would I trade it for anything...NO!! I had a great time and loved every minute. My family is large, loud, and very affectionate. My poor honey was lucky to survive. I know he had a good time but not as good as I did, and he is probably happier to be home than I am. I am glad we went. It made Thanksgiving easier for all of us. The hardest part was the tea party my aunt gave for all girls and women. Carrie would have loved it. The kids did great, although they had a hard time keeping up with who was who. Nathaniel kept asking who we were related to and I said everyone. He just sighed and gave up knowing names. My cousin-in-law (is that a real word?) Jen Borden was great with the kids ( she probably felt overwhelmed at times too) Nathaniel LOVED her...thanks Jen! I can count 37 that we saw and that isn't all of them ( all from my mom's side). I will say now that I am not a kid I see more of the imperfections. When I was a kid I thought my family was perfect. They aren't but they are still better than anyone's I have met. They love God, they are loud, they would do anything for me and I am truly blessed to be a part of them. I think Paul just tries to live through it. I know he loves us but the noise is hard to take and all the hugging if you are not use to it. I know I have much to be thankful for and my family is right at the top! I also learned a new card game that I would love to play. I need to live closer to Rocky and Marcy. Paul even stayed up late to play ( of course he won and he never played before either) I am not good at most games but I love to play. I just enjoy being with people. I really had a great time and would go back next week if I could, I can hear Paul saying absolutly not!! He needs to recover first, maybe for the summer.

my sister

Monday was November 3rd. My sister Carrie would have been 45 years old. I was going to write then but I was in the emergency room all day with a uti, dehydration and symptoms of a heart attack (that is another story). I also realize I probably would not have felt like writing then any way. It was exactly 5 months since she was found dead in her apartment. Sometimes it feels so long ago and other times it seems like I was just talking to her.

For those of you who didn't have the priviledge to know her I want to share a little. This may not matter to you but it does me a load of good! She was not perfect, she could be very grouchy, nasty, and even down right mean, but I usually needed to hear what she had to say. She loved tea and tea parties, she loved earrings, and not just normal ones either. The bigger the better and if they were unique that was the best. She loved to write and dreamed of being a published author one day. I have several of her writings on a disk. She had the best memory in the family. We are all in trouble now because none of us remember anything without her. She LOVED her cute kids (Calvin, Jennifer, Levi, and Nathaniel) !! All of her friends knew their stories because she was so proud of them all. She was a great massage therapist, blind, and a great listener. She was the best at praying with me. She had 3 tattoos and her hair style and color would change often. She was a belly dancer that I never had the pleasure of seeing perform, I was always to far away. She loved her Savior passionatly!!! Most of you have already heard this but I needed to do this. Our family is still having a hard time and normal will never be the same. My kids still have her phone number memorized and I can't delete it from my phone.

Thanks for letting me share. My next entry should be more uplifting!

Nathaniel's point of view

This morning Nathaniel and I were running around playing tag. We started running down the stairs (ramp really) to get to our part of the house, when he told me I couln't run. Now I have done this many times before so I was a little surprised at this. I asked him why he could run and mommy couldn't, it didn't seem fair. He said without any hesitation (I wish he would have at least a little) that I was fat. I even asked again to make sure I heard right. He said again that I was fat and couldn't run down the ramp I might get hurt. Now I will be the first to admit I have gained all the weight back that I had lost last year (something I am not happy about) but I didn't think it was THAT obvious. The worst part of the whole thing is I started laughing and immediately wanted to share the story with Carrie. She would have rolled!!!! I know I can post it here and I am grateful but most of you will not appreciate it the way Carrie would and besides I don't get to hear laughter. Well this was suppose to be a fun post and now I am getting depressed so I think I will go chase a little boy. Apparenly I need it!