Tuesday, March 22, 2011
5 Nights in a Hotel
A couple of weeks ago I had the responsibility and privilege to take my mother in law Phyllis to Tucson for a week of radiation. We had to be at the Oncologist every morning by 8:00 a.m. and every afternoon again around 2:30 p.m. We stayed in a hotel that technically had two rooms although there were no doors. The bathroom and sink were in my room and there was only one T.V. in the front room. The hotel had wi fi but only in the lobby or on the patio not in the rooms. In reality Phyllis could have taken herself but Paul and I both agreed that that was not something anyone should have to do. So even though I had to be away from Paul and my kids I packed lots of books and made plans for the week. I have several friends in Tucson and was going to take advantage of the opportunity to see some of them. Staying in a hotel for 5 days isn't my idea of fun when all you get to do is stare at four walls and don't have enough money to go do anything exciting, especially when I didn't have my family to share it with. Phyllis and I don't agree on most of the shows we watch...she can live on Fox News and the Game Show Network. I love The Big Bang Theory (even if I shouldn't). She tends to complain about everything that is happening in this world of ours and I try to be more optimistic. She complains in a joking and sarcastic manner about everything. Every time we went to the Oncologist She would greet them in a grumbling manner and then laugh like it was funny. What bothers me the most about all of this is the fact I could see me doing the same thing. Sarcasm is something I have down to an art form, but seeing it in someone else so often and clearly made me aware of just how much I really don't like it. We tend to think if we say it in a joking way it is OK to say anything we want to no matter how negative or hurtful it may be. I know how much it can hurt and yet I still do it. So the question is...am I really learning a lesson if I gain the knowledge but don't apply it or do anything with it but file it away? I did learn to love my mother in law more. I truly tried to see things from her perspective and realize she is flawed just like the rest of us but still has a lot to offer. God loves her just as much as He loves me, something I say I know but don't always act like I believe. I went into the week thinking I was a wonderful daughter in law and patting myself on the back but I came away with the realization that we all have flaws, hurts, issues and even our good points. Phyllis and I will never be best friends but I can say that I love her more now than I did a few weeks ago and I pray she can say the same about me. I also hope I have truly "learned" something from all of this and not just gained a few pieces of information.