Monday, May 1, 2017

The month of May

May is a month that I look forward to every year. It holds a lot of memories and excitement for many reasons. I love May!
Growing up it meant the end of the school year and summer vacation. It meant my grandmothers birthday, two of my aunts birthdays and one of my favorite Uncles birthdays. It is also the month I was born in. One of my very first concrete memories I can put a time frame on is my 4th birthday party at Humpty Dumpty land and a pretend makeup set with a plastic tube of bright berry colored lipstick, complete with the slant. I loved pretending to apply it. My favorite color is Emerald green, which just happens to be my birthstone.  May is the month that Mother's Day is. I grew up alway, always wanting to be a mommy. I remember vividly the day I found out I was pregnant, I was due in May!! I had my daughter on a Friday just before Mother's Day, I was thrilled. I went on to have two more children that have been a blessing and one shares a May birthday as well. My first nephew was born in May and I was there when he was born. So many wonderful memories happen in this wonderful month. 
This year May still holds the same holidays but with a pain that is beyond measure. My beautiful daughter won't be here to celebrate her 19th birthday, she won't help us celebrate her brother's birthday or mine. Mother's Day is going to be almost as hard as her birthday. I am bowing out, this month. I will celebrate with my boys but I am hoping to mostly survive this month and will be glad to see June. I may not answer phone calls or texts. I thank God work will be busy this month. I thank God for allowing me to become a mother, but with becoming a mother and all the joy and happiness it brings, it also brings and abundance of pain, maybe that is why when you first become a mother, you have morning sickness and labor pain. The heart ache never goes away but it is worth it all. Oh June please come quickly. Please keep praying for us, we so appreciate it.


Tamara Swerline said...

Dear Goldie,

Grief is a lot like birthing labor... You need to keep pushing through it. It sounds simple, but just like motherhood it is the most difficult thing you may ever have to do.

Sending lots of love and prayer.

Dawn Wright said...

So insightful Goldie! Thanks again for sharing your pains with us lucky enough to call you a friend!