Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Living between 2 ages
I love where I am in life, most of the time. I got married when I was almost 30 and didn't have my first child until I was just 2 weeks shy of 32. I would have loved to have gotten married in my twenties and started a family then but God had better plans than I did. Most of the time I love the way and when things worked out. My dilema is that now that I am in my mid 40's I am stuck between worlds. My Sunday School class is made up of women in my age group give or take a little and I love being in there. I love the ladies, we have a very gifted teacher and it is so much fun, the problem is they are empty nesters or close, working women who are in a different season than I am. The flip side of this is that the stay at home mom's who have children the same age as I do or close are in their 20's and 30's. Now most of the time none of this bothers me but some times I feel like a 3 wheel or a fish out of water in either group. I have gone through menopause and no longer have to deal with pms. I don't have to worry about toddler tantrums and all my kids are in school, and yet I don't work outside the home I do not have grandchildren and gray hair, and I do not know what it feels like to be an empty nester. So where do I fit in and how do I balance this crazy time in my life? I am old enough to be a grandmother even if I am not, there are woman who have gray hair in their 30's and women older than I who still deal with pms. I am done having children and even though I could go back to work it isn't something I am striving to do. So here I sit wondering what to do. I am a very social person and would love to find a true sister chick friend to click with but most women I feel a connection to are too busy with work or too busy with small children still at home. I know this season will not last forever but right now it is a hard place to be and so I sit, facebook, blog, and dream of days to come where I will once again have a friend close by that is closer than a sister.