Monday, January 23, 2012
Going to the Specialist
Tomorrow Jennifer and I have the "pleasure" of driving almost 6 1/2 hours to Fargo N. D. for a doctor appointment. No I am not kidding, I wish I were. That seems a bit ridiculous in todays society that nothing is even a little closer. We will be seeing Jennifer's new endocrinologist. They specialize in things like growth hormone, diabetes, thyroid and other such things. Because of Jennifer's Prader Willi we have been going to them for over 10 years now. Every time we get a new one I cringe. They can be very condescending and judgemental. They have big egos and usually don't think I know much at all. I may not have gone to medical school, but I have lived with my daughter all of her life. I know her, what makes her laugh, what makes her cry, what makes her mad and what she thinks is unfair. I know her quirks, her loyalties, what she is good at, what she struggles with and how much she loves her food, family and God. So why do I let them get to me when they ask if I know how much she weighs, and if I am aware of the fact that she is eating more than she should. I want to scream "really, I had no idea she wasn't a size 6 and that she loves sweets, savories and everything in between." Do I know that she shouldn't eat so much? YES! Do they ever ask how hard is it for you? What is it like to live with your daughter literally crying for food? How do you balance her eating with 2 very active, healthy, SKINNY, boys who can eat anything they want and more? Why don't they ask "does it break your heart to tell her no more tonight'? Why do they insist on treating me like an idiot who doesn't understand what Prader Willi is. I have lived this with my daughter for over 13 years. We have prayed together, cried together, and laughed together over it all. We have agreed that it isn't fair and that God loves her fiercely anyway! She knows we love her and only want what is best for her. She knows she is beautiful and we know nothing will change that. The doctor will insist that we see a nutritionist ( some skinny little 25 year old with no kids and no idea what we struggle with) she will explain the food pyramid to us like we are 2nd graders and don't know that more veggies and more movement are the answer to all our problems. I will listen, nod and smile all the while praying for strength and peace that only God can give. The doctor will soon learn that I do not intend to drive 6 1/2 hours more than a couple times a year only to be beat up and lectured. Jennifer however will love every minute of it, after all she gets mommy's undivided attention, we get to stay in a hotel and she gets to pick where we eat for dinner ( I get to pick lunch). She is beyond excited and has more coloring books and stuff ( yes a baby doll) than one girl needs for a simple over night trip. The time we get to spend together will be precious and priceless for both of us and for that I am truly grateful. Now to get prayed up for the doctor.