13, middle school and diabetes

What a crazy couple of weeks we have had here in the O'Dell house. Two birthdays only four days apart both with parties on the same weekend and then music programs at school, middle school tour and doctor appointments and lets not forget Mother's Day. I think this all happens at once so I am wanting summer vacation for the kids as much as they do. Jennifer is now 13...a teenager. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around this. I think it is hard because I don't want to be old enough to have a teenager but alas it is the truth. I remember having my beautiful girl and how thrilled I was to have that first Mother's Day gift. She was and still is a treasure to me and always will be. She is so excited to be 13. For some reason she thinks it is a magic number where everything changes, she gets a boyfriend, wears makeup, life is better some how. Boy is she wrong about a lot of it. She is not getting a boy friend, she is not wearing makeup, but I do pray life is better for her. Becoming a teenager is exciting, it means growing up it means middle school. We got to tour the middle school and meet the special education teacher,  and some others. She was very excited (so she said) I also think she is apprehensive. Change is not easy for anyone but for a special needs kid routine is key. She has been a lot more weepy and keeps saying she is going to miss her current teacher. It is a lot to process even under the best of circumstances. She also knows we may be moving over the summer and that will change even more of her routine. She and I also went to Tucson for her Endocrinology appointment on Monday. They informed us that she has the beginning of type 2 diabetes. This is very common in prader willi children and it does run in our family ( my sister had type 1 and Paul's mom has type 2) Jennifer only knows that Aunt Carrie died and was a little scared. I assured her that Carrie had it for 42 years, had a heart attack and it was type 1. The doctor was very gracious and not patronizing (a nice change from most). She wants us to move more and eat lots of veggies. She didn't condemn either one of us just wants us to try and get it under control without any medication if we can. It was a great wake up call for me. I knew we should be eating better but I get lazy and now I can't, I have no excuses. We ride bikes together, play on the Wii together and eat our veggies together. I know this will get harder as we try and cut out so much junk but I have a great reason to. I have actually been beating myself up. I knew this was a concern and I still had junk in the house. Sugar is every bit as addicting as any other drug of choice. I also hate telling Jennifer no when she want more food. I know it is best for her but the mom in me hates it. I wonder how mom's who don't have any food for their children do it. It breaks my heart and it must break theirs. It is not the way we are suppose to do it. Mothers are suppose to give their children food when they are hungry and I hate telling her she can't have it when she feels like she is starving. I think it is an absolutely cruel syndrome. I know we are all learning so much from it but learning is very painful at times. I look forward to the banqueting table in Heaven where she can eat what ever she wants and how much she wants! My daughter is growing up and while I can't stop it I can enjoy every minute of it. She is so precious to me and I couldn't love her anymore if I tried. My princess will always be my princess no matter where life takes us and I am glad we have made it to 13! She makes me a better person. I see God's love in her so much. She loves more than most I know and God shows me all the time how much He loves me by using her as an example. I always wanted to me a wife and mother and I can never doubt His love for me, he gave me a wonderful husband and 3 incredible kids...I am blessed!!!!!

Get ready to stretch

I love to be comfortable. Lounging on the couch with a good book is one of the most relaxing things in the world to me. I don't think this is wrong and resting and sitting down for a while is great. I do wonder about my comfort and contentment. I can be content and not be comfortable. Take a marathon runner for example. When they are running are they comfortable? I don't think so. They get hot, tired, sore, exhausted even but ask them if they are content and most if not all would say yes. A labor and delivery nurse works on her feet for 12 hour shifts, exhaustion is common and so is dealing in high stress but are they content? I know most are. They are doing something they love and are passionate about. What am I passionate about? Am I content? Do I really want to stretch and grow? I say yes but then I start the stretching and it is hard work and I want to stop. I have no desire to run a marathon, I get tired just watching someone else do it. I do know that it feels great when I have exercised and reached a goal however. So what is holding me back now from moving from comfortable to stretching? Fear and doubt! Every time I think it is time to go forward, someone says don't. Godly people say "are you crazy?" "you don't have a plan" "God doesn't expect you to just go, does He?" I start to question and worry. I don't see a clear path, OK I don't see any path right now. Maybe we have gotten ahead of God. I hope and pray not. Our hearts are right, we want to go and serve. We are ready to move forward and yet no door seems to be opening for us. I can tell you I am definitely stretching now and it is uncomfortable. I am waiting for a miracle to happen. I know God can do anything. I pray He shows us His plan quickly, even if it isn't what I thought it would be. I can't just sit on the couch any longer, it is time to move forward...somewhere.

Walking in Faith...stay or go

I have always been told to seek God's Will. I truly want to do this, it is my hearts desire to serve my God and Savior. So why is it so hard to see what that "will" is for me? I think I know what He asks and then I don't see it happening, this is even after waiting years for the answer. I know that God's will is for me to praise and serve Him and I can do that anywhere He sends me, and I do find comfort in that. I also know that God has a specific plan for my life and I want to do that. I don't want second best, I don't want to do "something" for God I want to do what is priority is for me...His best! How do you know when to move forward and when to stay still? Some would say don't go anywhere until you hear from God where to go. I could argue that I could sit here for the rest of my life; still serve and worship but not move forward. Some would say step out in faith and just go. I could argue that I don't want to tempt God and push forward just because I am tired of the waiting ( Joseph was in prison for how long? David was anointed as King but how long before he wore the crown?) I know that God has a plan for me and for my family. I do not want to get ahead of God and have to sit in the wilderness even longer or only get His second best for my life. So where does the faith come in? Sit and wait for the pillar to move or go like Abraham until God says stop? Some things are not so easy to see with my human and sinful eyes. I did come to the realization yesterday that maybe I should pray differently ( now don't get me wrong, God knows my heart and what I am saying) and change my focus just a little. I have been asking, OK begging God to show us what we are suppose to be doing and where we need to be, what is best for me and my family. God showed me last night that I should be asking where will I bring You the most glory, where will I become more like Christ? Where is it going to be about God and not me? I still don't know what God has for us next or when we will go but I am hoping my new focus will give me peace as I seek to serve whether staying or going.

I think I will write this blog tomorrow

Anyone that knows me even a little bit knows I put things off until they have to be done. If you know me a little better you know just how truly lazy I can be. Of the 7 deadly sins my number one is definitely slothful  (with gluttony coming in a close 2nd, but that is another post). If you read my post you can see just how often I don't post. I have plenty of time and lots of things I feel God is telling me to write down. I write beautiful posts in my head while drifting off to sleep and even have great to do lists all planned out for the next day, but alas they never come to pass, just time does. I am not sure why I struggle so with this. I know I am tired a lot and seem to have no energy but I have been a terrible house keeper even when I was young and felt great. I am just horribly lazy. I am also very social, I would much rather be on the phone or better yet out with someone getting coffee and visiting. I know I drive my family crazy with my lack of ambition. I never finished college, I have many craft projects only halfway done ,I have a latch hook rug I started in 8th grade (1980) for Home Ec  I have never finished. If my teacher knew she would have flunked me, she was so sure I would finish it a week or two after school was out because I had made great progress in class. I start to organize or spring clean and I stop and things stay in  piles to give away, file, etc. and I never finish. I know this isn't honoring to God and I keep saying tomorrow I will do better but tomorrow never happens. I am a dreamer with great plans and no discipline, no accountability, no drive. Even now there are several things I should be doing and yet I sit here and think about how wonderful it would be to go to lunch with a friend or call my sister and catch up. I am amazed that my family doesn't give up on me and neither does my God. I am so grateful for God loving me just as I am and yet I know He has plans for me. I need to get motivated, I need to get up and do something. I need to start moving, just don't know how. How do you change something that is so ingrained into your personality?  How do you change who you are? God help I can't do this even a little bit on my own. I need a Savior!!!!! and maybe a house keeper :)

A night in Bisbee

Friday Paul and I left the kids with My mom and sister and headed for Bisbee, Arizona. Now some may wonder why Bisbee, it is a small little town that as a lot of artists and history and a motley bunch of others. We just wanted to get away and it is a fun little town that is unique. We drove through Soniota. Huchuca City, Sierra Vista, Hereford and Palominos and maybe even a few others. It was a perfect day for a drive. We stopped and had lunch with a wonderful friend at a favorite lunch spot in Sierra Vista...The Bread Basket. They have the best coconut macaroons you have ever tasted. We bought the last 2 and took them with us. We were once again on our way. We arrived in Bisbee and checked in to the Copper Queen Hotel. It is a beautiful old hotel with a lot of history, again something I love. The room was small but I loved the whole feeling of the place. We took a walk or should I say stroll down the main street and looked in all the little shops, we stopped at the visitors centers,looked in antique stores, art galleries and one of a kind shops, all without a single complaint of "I'm bored" 'Are we done yet?" "Can we leave now" or my favorite "I'm hungry" That alone made Bisbee a wonderful getaway for the two of us. We had a wonderful dinner out on the patio of our hotel. After dinner we took a walking tour of the history of Bisbee. It started at 7:00p.m. because most of the history had ghost stories to go with them. I enjoyed the history of the town and all the buildings around it. The ghost stories were neither scary or a problem for me, at least that is what I thought. When we were done for the evening I must admit going to sleep was more difficult than I anticipated. I spook easily so any sound can conger up ideas of what it could be and none of them are of course harmless. I then realized I needed the song from Veggie Tales "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man" My favorite verse in the whole Bible is Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my Salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the Strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? " Sleep still eluded me because I was so hot but that isn't the hotels fault. We slept in and went over to the Bisbee Coffee Co. for breakfast. Coffee was a great start to the day which was looking to be another wonderful day weather wise. We did some more walking and went the the mining museum. It is what made Bisbee in it's heyday. Mining cooper was big business, my dad used to work for a copper mine. Seeing all the minerals and how they mined everything was fascinating. It was a a great history and very hands on.We stopped at a Tea Shop where the lady made up her own teas, and bought some specifically for allergies and sinus. She had a tea called "Goddess" I would have loved to have gotten some for Carrie. We saw a man carrying a pet lizard that was bigger than a toddler, it looked like an iguana to me but not sure. We saw many interesting people but all were very friendly. We packed up headed out and had a wonderful drive back. We stopped at a little mom and pop place for a late lunch in Soniota. It was a wonderful time away from all the stress of everyday life. It was wonderful to recharge and just be a couple, it was wonderful to experience a place we hadn't had a chance to be before. I am so thankful for a wonderful husband who planned all of this for our anniversary. I am blessed and I thank God for 15 amazing years. Bisbee was a fun trip and I loved every minute of it.