A night in Bisbee

Friday Paul and I left the kids with My mom and sister and headed for Bisbee, Arizona. Now some may wonder why Bisbee, it is a small little town that as a lot of artists and history and a motley bunch of others. We just wanted to get away and it is a fun little town that is unique. We drove through Soniota. Huchuca City, Sierra Vista, Hereford and Palominos and maybe even a few others. It was a perfect day for a drive. We stopped and had lunch with a wonderful friend at a favorite lunch spot in Sierra Vista...The Bread Basket. They have the best coconut macaroons you have ever tasted. We bought the last 2 and took them with us. We were once again on our way. We arrived in Bisbee and checked in to the Copper Queen Hotel. It is a beautiful old hotel with a lot of history, again something I love. The room was small but I loved the whole feeling of the place. We took a walk or should I say stroll down the main street and looked in all the little shops, we stopped at the visitors centers,looked in antique stores, art galleries and one of a kind shops, all without a single complaint of "I'm bored" 'Are we done yet?" "Can we leave now" or my favorite "I'm hungry" That alone made Bisbee a wonderful getaway for the two of us. We had a wonderful dinner out on the patio of our hotel. After dinner we took a walking tour of the history of Bisbee. It started at 7:00p.m. because most of the history had ghost stories to go with them. I enjoyed the history of the town and all the buildings around it. The ghost stories were neither scary or a problem for me, at least that is what I thought. When we were done for the evening I must admit going to sleep was more difficult than I anticipated. I spook easily so any sound can conger up ideas of what it could be and none of them are of course harmless. I then realized I needed the song from Veggie Tales "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man" My favorite verse in the whole Bible is Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my Salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the Strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? " Sleep still eluded me because I was so hot but that isn't the hotels fault. We slept in and went over to the Bisbee Coffee Co. for breakfast. Coffee was a great start to the day which was looking to be another wonderful day weather wise. We did some more walking and went the the mining museum. It is what made Bisbee in it's heyday. Mining cooper was big business, my dad used to work for a copper mine. Seeing all the minerals and how they mined everything was fascinating. It was a a great history and very hands on.We stopped at a Tea Shop where the lady made up her own teas, and bought some specifically for allergies and sinus. She had a tea called "Goddess" I would have loved to have gotten some for Carrie. We saw a man carrying a pet lizard that was bigger than a toddler, it looked like an iguana to me but not sure. We saw many interesting people but all were very friendly. We packed up headed out and had a wonderful drive back. We stopped at a little mom and pop place for a late lunch in Soniota. It was a wonderful time away from all the stress of everyday life. It was wonderful to recharge and just be a couple, it was wonderful to experience a place we hadn't had a chance to be before. I am so thankful for a wonderful husband who planned all of this for our anniversary. I am blessed and I thank God for 15 amazing years. Bisbee was a fun trip and I loved every minute of it.

5 Nights in a Hotel

A couple of weeks ago I had the responsibility and privilege to take my mother in law Phyllis to Tucson for a week of radiation. We had to be at the Oncologist every morning by 8:00 a.m. and every afternoon again around 2:30 p.m. We stayed in a hotel that technically had two rooms although there were no doors. The bathroom and sink were in my room and there was only one T.V. in the front room. The hotel had wi fi but only in the lobby or on the patio not in the rooms. In reality Phyllis could have taken herself but Paul and I both agreed that that was not something anyone should have to do. So even though I had to be away from Paul and my kids I packed lots of books and made plans for the week. I have several friends in  Tucson and was going to take advantage of the opportunity to see some of them. Staying in a hotel for 5 days isn't my idea of fun when all you get to do is stare at four walls and don't have enough money to go do anything exciting, especially when I didn't have my family to share it with. Phyllis and I don't agree on most of the shows we watch...she can live on Fox News and the Game Show Network. I love The Big Bang Theory (even if I shouldn't). She tends to complain about everything that is happening in this world of ours and I try to be more optimistic. She complains in a joking and sarcastic manner about everything. Every time we went to the Oncologist She would greet them in a grumbling manner and then laugh like it was funny. What bothers me the most about all of this is the fact I could see me doing the same thing. Sarcasm is something I have down to an art form, but seeing it in someone else so often and clearly made me aware of just how much I really don't like it. We tend to think if we say it in a joking way it is OK to say anything we want to no matter how negative or hurtful it may be. I know how much it can hurt and yet I still do it. So the question is...am I really learning a lesson if I gain the knowledge but don't apply it or do anything with it but file it away? I did learn to love my mother in law more. I truly tried to see things from her perspective and realize she is flawed just like the rest of us but still has a lot to offer. God loves her just as much as He loves me, something I say I know but don't always act like I believe. I went into the week thinking I was a wonderful daughter in law and patting myself on the back but I came away with the realization that we all have flaws, hurts, issues and even our good points. Phyllis and I will never be best friends but I can say that I love her more now than I did a few weeks ago and I pray she can say the same about me. I also hope I have truly "learned" something from all of this and not just gained a few pieces of information.

People pleaser

For as long as I can remember I have been a people pleaser. I love people, and can talk to anyone. Growing up I loved school and church and anywhere there were lots of people. I made freinds imediately wherever we moved to. I was never mistaken for being shy or reserved. Most of the time I love this, however that also makes me a great follower. I hate it when someone doensn't like me or what I am donig. I will try to do whatever I can to make everyone happy. I do not like conflict, and telling someone no is practically physically painful for me. I am a sap! This makes it difficult to follow God I am finding out. I will do what I think...no I am sure God wants and then someone will come along and say something that makes me think I shouldn't. We are to follow godly council and that causes me a lot of conflict. Even in the Bible it seems those who truly followed God went against everyone else. How do you balance that? We are to love as Christ loved, we are to seek godly wisdom from others and yet I almost always get conflicting advice. Even in my own study time I often get mixed signals. I am learning however and hopefully, that when God calls me to do something to stick with it and do it. I may still struggle with the difference of a road block by God and a spiritual attack from the enemy, but I pray that I will keep praying and seeking God until I can tell the difference. I still love making people happy and I love it when everything works great and I look like a great friend or hero ( that is another topic on pride for another day) but I really want to learn to please my Lord and Savior. My list of friends may shrink considerably and that is going to hurt but I have to stand before the Great I AM someday and will do it alone,I want to hear "well done my good and faithful servant" I don't think I will hear that about this last week. Prasie God for His mercy and grace!

Long night

Yesterday was going along fine. I knew I had a sleep study that I had to be at by 9:30 p.m. I wasn't allowed to have any caffiene all day : ( I also could not use any conditioner, lotion, mouse, powder, etc. I live in Arizona and it is DRY and cold right now. Not using any of those products was a real drag. I wanted lotion so bad and my hair...remember the science experiment where you put your hand on the big silver ball and your hair stands straight out? I didn't need the big shiney ball. Life was just moving along and then Paul's mom got a call to come in to her doctor right away. When she came home she told me she has breast cancer. Now my mother in law comes across  very stoic and removed from showing any tenderness, but I was crushed. I didn't show it, she didn't show it, I don't think she will. This isn't what I expected in the new year, but then I am always getting unexpected stuff, that is life. I do know this is going to be difficult for Paul and his mom both but I think it can be a good thing too. I must admit going to my sleep study was hard. I didn't want to leave Paul and I knew sleep would be difficult. Well I must have slept enough to get the information they needed and I was put on a c-pap half way through the night. I will be getting my own in the near future. Don't think I slept any better the second half but they seemed to think I did. I don't think the c-pap comes in candy apple red with lace so I am not looking forward to sleeping next to my sweet prince in one. I know he will just be glad I am breathing and not snoring, now he can sleep bette also. Life is full of so much and I have a hard time processing it all sometimes. I don't want to just have a hum drum life though and that means embracing the ups and downs. All that is happening makes me appreciate what I do have. Today my oldest son turns 10. We are going to have cheesecake with strawberries and Friday he gets a party with all of his friends. I want to relish each moment and without the difficult stuff I don't think I would appreciate the blessings that I have in abundance. I am going to go celebrate life today!

One takes the bow and one takes the blame

Everyone has conflict. It is unavoidable. Many years ago I learned that when there is a conflict people want to blame one side or the other (just look at our politicians). It is human nature. We tell ourselves that there are two sides to every story but we still want to blame someone. In a relationship someone is always the jerk or the diva. We say we understand why they broke up because one of them whas just impossible to live with. Human nature is wired that way. We have to have someone to blame, to make ourselves feel better, to save face, to help cope, whatever the reason. It is a part of self preservation. and it starts at a very young age. Listen to children in a nursery or daycare or even your own kids. When someone gets hurt or starts fighting and you ask what happened, they all want to point a finger and say "they started it" or "it wasn't me". We try and teach them responsiblity and accepting fault but it is so hard, even for adults. We do not like to take the blame at least not without explaining why it happened first. There was a song out many years ago by the Statler Brothers (my all time favortie group) that is called One Takes the Bow One Takes the Blame. It is about a a couple getting a divorce ( I am not condoning this) and the husband is telling his soon to be exwife that he know someone has to be blamed and he will do that. Everyone can say it was his fault and let her off the hook. It was very admirable but sad. Most conflict isn't that cut and dry. We do not see things clearly, we see them through our own hurts and failures. I truly believe that no story is completly true. Only God knows the truth 100%. He knows the heart and the hurts behind all the failures and conflicts in our lives. However sometime we have to take the blame and let stuff go. It is difficult. I have seen others do this with great grace and mercy. God knows their hearts and the truth. It shouldn't matter what others may think, but it does. Oh to have the grace to take the blame and just walk away so others can go on. Lord give me the strength to let go and not feel the need to excuse my actions and point fingers. I have blown it and I am sorry. I will take the blame.