Thursday, January 6, 2011
I am always surprised by how much pain I can feel from something that has happened a long time ago. I think I am ok and have moved on when something can trigger it and it all comes back fresh and very real. I try to move on, I try to forgive. I even think that I have forgiven, and maybe I have. But if I have why does it still hurt so much? I tell myself and my family that life hurts. We are going to feel pain. I know we live in an imperfect and flawed world. I know that sin and Satan are very very real. I know my need for my Savior. If this life were perfect I would not need Christ and Heaven, I would not look forward to it.Without the pain I wouldn't appreciate the wonderful blessings I have. If life were always the same I would become numb to my needs and the needs of those around me. I also know that when I hurt I cling to my Savior, it is where I should always be anyway and I tend to slip away without even realizing it. Satan wants me to focus on the bad and forget what God has called me to do. I wonder if the harder something is the more likely it is that I am doing exactly what I am suppose to be doing. If that is true then I am doing exaxtly what God wants and I can't worry about what others think. I need to please my Savior, I need to be in the middle of His will and not my own. I need to move out of my comfort zone and get on with what I know God had called me to do!! Will it be easy? I doubt it. Will it be pain free, absolutly not! Christ suffered more than I can ever imagine.If I suffer even a little I pray it is for His glory and never my own.Onward with what God has called me to do!