Sunday, January 2, 2011

Trying to catch up

I was just looking at my old posts and realized it has been way to long. With me spending more and more time on facebook I tend to neglect my blog. This is not a good thing because I love to write out what God is speaking to me and it helps me. When I write it down it makes it real and I tend to be more accountable. I have had so much going on that it is hard to write it all down. God has been moving in my life and in my families. We are very excited and a little scared. That is good because I depend on Him more when I get scared and know I can't do it alone. I need to get back on track with writing everything down also. I tend to forget what I learn and what God is doing ( just like the Isrealites huh?) 
 We have now been in Safford for 3 years. This has been my wilderness time. I am not sure it is over but I can see us moving forward again and that gives me hope. These 3 years have been necesary for both myself and Paul. It has been hard and long but without it I would not be who I am today. I have heard over and over from God "TRUST ME" Most of the time this is all I have gotten. I feel like I have cried out over and over. I have pleaded, wepted and even screamed "when, why, how long" Again and again I hear my Lord say 'TRUST ME" . He isn't loud, He isn't rude, He doens't get tired of me asking (thank God for that). I have told Him " I do trust You, so lets move on" I then realize that maybe I don't. If I did would I still be whinnig so much about the wait, wouldn't I trust that it isn't time yet.? I am learning to let go. Now it is time!

Paul is going back to seminary.This time for his MDIV. He is called to be a pastor not a music minister. I have known this almost as long as I have known him. I also knew that God had to show him and tell him when not me. He has applied and been accepted to Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary. He will be taking classes on line right now but eventually we will move again. We are ready, even if I am a little scared. I don't like change. Funny I know when I have been dying to do something new. I have gotten a better appreciation for my Mother-in-law by living with her. I see her better now and hopefully love her more. 
God is moving me more also.I will be speaking to minister's wives at the end of January. This is a burden I have had for a long time but knew it had to be God's timing and not my own. This will stretch my faith in ways that it never has before. I am stepping out it complete trust of Him. He has to do this through me or I will fail! I do not want pride to go with me. I want to be totally used by my Savior! I want Him to be glorified and not me! 

Well that is my last three months in a nutshell. I will be better about this and much more is coming. I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore. Doesn't matter really, this is between me and my Savior. If you are reading this. Please keep myself and Paul as well as our kids in your prayers. We have a lot happening and only God can make it happen. Have an amazing New Year, I know I will!

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